Mental Vomit

Published January 10, 2014 by hrhdana

My brain is full.   Seriously,  so full.

I’ve been trying to write something here for HOURS but the thoughts are racing in my head and my emotions are swirling all up and through the thoughts. My attempts feel disjointed, messy and sub par. But what’s a writer to do? We have to get it out! So I’m warning you ahead of time that this post will be a jumbled mess. I’m not fighting the racing thoughts anymore. I’m going to do my best to just capture and release them.

My daughter is hilarious. She’s taken to prefacing any conversation with, “Mama, do you know what I was thinking?” And in case you ever wondered two year olds ARE thinking. She’s asked me some questions that made me pause and shared some observations that left me impressed. I love, love, love listening to her.
Isn’t it funny how before I started typing my thoughts were racing but now that I’m typing all I can think is…shoes. I’d really like to go shoe shopping. I’d especially love to go shoe shopping with someone else’s cash.
Our food supply is terrifying. I have no idea why more Americans aren’t up in arms about GMOs. I also don’t know why there is no outrage that companies sell clean version of the products that they sell here in other countries. It’s like they acknowledge that they are poisoning Americans and we’re cool with that.
My right earlobe itches. It’s been itchy for days and I have no idea why.
My heart still hurts for Trayvon. I still think about him and his family all the time. I don’t know how to move on.
I need to find some volunteer work to do.I’m going to get my license this year…before I turn 38. Native New Yorker here.

Having a little girl has made me even more aware of how necessary feminism is. I wish White feminism would get it’s shit together. I still feel un-welcomed in their space.
Why does WordPress randomly decide I needed and extra line break there? Why can’t I delete it? Will I ever learn to work this site?
I love the idea of a purple and teal wedding.
Where the hell did THAT come from?
Single parent and unmarried parent is not the same! I wish the statistics would catch up with and reflect this truth. I don’t say that because I don’t want to be identified as a single Mom. I say it because I’m not a single Mom. I have a partner who is right there co-parenting with me. But when I fill out forms I am a single parent or a married parent. It’s silly and antiquated.
I’m excited about this year. Things are happening for me in my poetry life and I’m super excited about it.
I want to go back to school but I am overwhelmed with deciding when and where so I do nothing.

There goes Word Press with that extra space again.

WordPress you are pissing me off!
I am missing my friends. So many of them live out of state. Since having the baby I haven’t done much traveling and I miss them so much.

Why did I switch from taking my vacations in the winter to taking them in the summer when I know how much I hate the cold and love the heat?
How many people have already quit reading?

I’m really sad about something I think I have no right to be sad about. I’m still sad.

At some point this year I’m going to deactivate my facebook for a while. I think it’s necessary.

I’m going to see my best friend tonight and I’m super excited!!!

I think I’m done here. I’m off to write some poetry.

If you are still here feel free to drop some random thoughts in the comment section and thank you for stopping by.

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7 comments on “Mental Vomit

  • “Our food supply is terrifying. I have no idea why more Americans aren’t up in arms about GMOs. I also don’t know why there is no outrage that companies sell clean version of the products that they sell here in other countries. It’s like they acknowledge that they are poisoning Americans and we’re cool with that.”

    I feel that exact sentiment every day, I felt it when I reposted the apple link you posted and it only got 2 likes, then I shifted my mindset and told myself “2 likes is better than none” if 2 ppl know and care then maybe they’ll spread the word and 2 more ppl will know and care” I’m praying it causes a ripple then a big wave!

    as far as the single/unmarried parent thing *sigh* I read until the end, thanks for sharing! btw, I’m loving the wedding colors 😉

    • I think we are up to four likes on that post. 🙂 It’s something. sighs

      Keya I have no idea where those colors came from. Wedding? What wedding? LOL

      Thanks for sticking with me mamalove.

  • I say….”You are amazing and I love you. Never stop the thoughts….keep sharing…..share the sad, the happy, the fucked up things, you successes, EVERYTHING…..We LOVE you.”

    Kiss Grace for me.

  • Talk to me.

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