I always come here when I’m struggling.
Today I’m reflecting on self sabotage.
I’m GREAT at it.
Seriously, you have never met someone better at blocking their blessings than I am. If someone handed me a winning lottery ticket I would put it through a shredder. I am THAT serious about not being successful. I have talked this out with countless friends, family members, therapists, strangers on public transit, my journal, poetry etc etc.
I still can’t stop doing it.
For the past 9 months opportunity has literally followed me down the street, rang my phone off of the hook, blown up my email and straight harassed me. “No thanks,” I reply. Then I spend my nights dreaming about said opportunities.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I seriously don’t.
“Just do it!” I know. I know.
But I don’t.
I am worthy. I am talented. I am good.
I wallow in mediocrity.
I wish I had a happy ending for this post. LOL Some story of how I overcame this thing.
That story is still being written…