They saved me

Published March 8, 2017 by hrhdana

There was a time when I was so lost

I didn’t know who I was.

I played at princess

gave myself to peons.

Wearing a tiara

sitting in the dirt.

Filthy.

1

I thought a man was the answer to everything.

If I could just get one man to

see me

love me

validate me

then I would be complete.

And I tried

guy,

after guy

after guy.

I hurled my love like a weapon

consuming them.

I wrapped my legs around

bodies with no soul inside

gave all I had to lie after lie.

I cried

a lot.

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And each rejection

was confirmation

that who I was wasn’t working

broken, undeserving.

More lies.

More cries.

But my sisters.

Baby, my sisters

saw through my foolishness.

Shared life lessons I could not resist.

“Sis no one can love you

until you do.

Forgive yourself. Start new.

I see you.

I’ve been there too.”

1

I sucked my teeth.

They didn’t understand my love.

Couldn’t understand that if I would just shut the fuck up

He wouldn’t have to…

They called bullshit.

Refused to quietly sit

while I ran towards my destruction.

My sisters showed up with garbage bags

packed all my shit and took my hand.

We out!

YOU are out!

Threatened the man

If he laid one more hand

on me

they would find his body

floating.

1

And I wondered

How can they love me more than I love me?

Want a better for me that I can’t even see?

How can they deem me worthy?

But they did.

In thought

word and deed.

My sisters,

they saved me.

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2 comments on “They saved me

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