children

All posts tagged children

Chronicles of a threenager

Published April 16, 2015 by hrhdana

Nia’s Elsa dress got taken away a while ago because she wasn’t listening. It actually went in to the garbage because she decided to feed it jello. (Don’t ask) Anyway, her behavior has been exemplary for a few weeks now so her Dad and I replaced her Elsa dress and added 3 other dress up outfits to it. Last night we tried them all on after bath and hair time. Then this happened.

Nia is looking at the photo of the accessories that compliment the two princess dresses.

Nia- Mommy you forgot something.
Me- What did I forget?
N-The Cinderella shoes, wand and tiara and the Rapunzel hair, crown and shoes.
M-I didn’t forget. Those were extra. You have shoes, tiaras and wands. And your own hair is more gorgeous than ANY fake hair so you don’t need that.
N-*grabs my face* Mommy if you are going to do something do it right. Isn’t that what you say? How am I going to be Rapunzel with Tianna shoes? Huh? How am I going to be Cinderella without the right crown? Come on Mommy.
M-Nia it’s all for playing pretend. You can pretend that those other tiaras match the character that you are playing.
N-That’s not princess Mommy. Princesses do it right from the shoes up. Now how do you feel? You can say sorry Mommy. It’s okay we all make mistakes.
M- laughing. Ummm sorry?
N-That didn’t sound real. Do you want to try again?

Young Girl Playing By Herself

Mommying be hard

Published March 19, 2015 by hrhdana

I’m a pretty cerebral person. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I over think things. I often get paralyzed in my own head when given too many options. I can research a topic for months and still come out unsure if I know enough to make a decision. I love information. I adore facts. I crave them. I want to know everything. And even though I know this is impossible, I try.

Enter parenting. LOL Parenting is something that defies research. Parenting happens in the moment and reveals your truest self to a person who barely reaches your waist. I have learned a lot about myself while parenting a toddler and a lot of it ain’t pretty. *hangs head* I have also learned that toddlers care not for logic or research. LOL They are 45% emotion, 45% stubbornness and 10% germs.  True story.

I have found myself attempting to explain myself to a 3 year old on many occasions. I can HEAR you laughing. But it just seems logical that if I can explain WHY I don’t want her to put dirty things in her mouth she won’t. I mean who wants to get germs, get sick and end up in the hospital? Not me. So I explain. Two seconds after the explanation and her declaration that she will, “not do that again Mommy. Only food goes in my mouth Mommy,” I find her licking a yoyo that was in the bottom of her toybox.  “Didn’t we just talk about this?” I ask. “Yes Mommy,” she answers while getting one more lick in. My brain literally wants to weep. How do I reach you little human? I’m literally stuck.

My child is stubborn. She has a will of steel. Lately she has been asserting this will at the strangest and most illogical times. 10 minutes in to our walk to school she declares, “I hate  this hat! I won’t wear it!” But it’s already on her head. It’s the hat she begged me to buy, with tears in her eyes. It’s the hat that is on her head under the hood of her coat. The hat, that she is now frantically trying to rip from her head, confused and enraged that it won’t come off. I watch her…fascinated. What the hell just happened? What am I supposed to do now? Who let ME be in charge?

“Nia, if you take your hat off you are going to be cold.”

Success. She has removed the offensive hat and flung it to the ground. I’m amused by her passion but confused at the same time. I pick up the hat and put it in my bag. I’m not fighting about this one. But she isn’t done.

“Why did you buy me that hat? I want to wear my princess one.”

“The princess one is at home. YOU wanted this hat”

I realize I am traveling down a dead end street with this conversation but it’s like the brakes are gone on my car.

“I want the princess hat NOW!”

“That isn’t happening. We are almost at school.”

She dissolves in to hysterical tears. Snot is running from her nose. Sobs are racking her little body.

I hold her hand and continue walking in silence.

I’m wondering what I should be doing? Should I empathize with her about the hat? Should I tell her to tighten up? Should I ignore her? Should I reprimand her? Force her to put the hat back on? Lost in thought I realize she’s stopped crying and is talking to me again.

“…and I love you Mommy.”

I grab a tissue from my pocket, look down at her small little tear stained face and whisper back, “I love you too little bit.”

No books prepared me for this. I want my money back.

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Inspired by sparkly shoes

Published November 12, 2014 by hrhdana

shoes

She wears diamonds on her feet.
Every fiber of her being
beautiful  confidence…future Queen.
Standing just three feet
Regal in her totality.
Excellence is what she eats.
She eschews mediocrity.

A single-mindedness that I admire.
This beautiful, determined ball of fire
and if you dare invoke her ire
She’ll burn hot
but
it won’t last.
She forgives fast.

She’s just the right balance of sassy and sweet.
Purposed royalty.
Invisible crown, back erect.
Makes you earn it while demanding respect.
Sticks to her guns without a care.
Knows what she wants but she’s happy to share.
Purposed royalty.
Future Queen.
Diamonds on her feet.

Tentative in new situations
appropriate for a leader of nations.
Can be swayed by candy or libations
She can be bribed.
Not saying it is right.
But no one and nothing is perfect.

She wears diamonds on her feet.
Every fiber of her being
beautiful  confidence…future Queen.
Standing just three feet
Regal in her totality.
Excellence is what she eats.
She eschews mediocrity.
She wears diamonds on her feet.

My progeny.

First day of school

Published September 10, 2013 by hrhdana

I sit

in your midst

silent

observant.

I am not bothered by the deluge of curses you spew.

I’m watching, listening, open to you.

First day of school.

No talk of

teachers,

classes,

passing,

or studying,

instead…

“I fucked that bitch in homie’s bathroom.

Everyone was there. I ain’t care.

She a hoe now.

Everyone knows.”

I turn away

ashamed

I try to guess your age.

15 maybe…

A group of girls this time…

I listen,

“I know I’ma fuck that bitch up!

Ain’t nothing change but the school year.

Suspend me!

I don’t fucking care!!”

First day of school

You are both

already failing.

I sit

in your midst

silent,

observant

and I wish.

I wish that my love was strong enough to

reach you,

break though,

gift you several clues.

I love you…

little boy lost

little girl angry.

I love you

in all of your possibility.

Your decisions to wallow in shit

wound me.

I know that children learn what they live

that knowledge makes me hurt even more for you.

Little boy…

testosterone  infused

confused

misguided by what you hear in music and on the news.

You equate manhood with

bedroom exploits

and violence.

I wish I could introduce you to real men.

I wish you could sit

in their midst

feast on knowledge

and their gentleness.

It would illustrate for you

how one dimensional

how shallow

how flat and full of lack

your definition of manhood is.

Little girl …

Angry,

lashing out

hurt,

misguided by multiple outlets undervaluing your worth.

You matter.

I wish I could teach you how much power you hold.

I wish I could show you so that you would know

how much more strength it takes

to walk away

the value in knowing you will live another day.

You matter.

I wish someone taught you that.

I wish you could hear me

believe me

feel me

because it’s true.

You

matter

and

I love you.