I’m struggling with blogging. I have never had a public blog before. I’ve never had a blog that was tied to my offline life. My blogs, in the past, have been where I come to write and receive feedback from people whom I have never met or only met through blogging. There is a freedom in that exchange. I can present my life, my world, my experiences to people who don’t know me. I can talk about whomever I want because the readers don’t know them.
This blog is different. This blog is promoted on my facebook page and in other circles I frequent. This blog is public and accessible by anyone. It’s silencing me.
How can I write about my notoriously private boyfriend when some of the people reading know exactly who he is, even if I give him an adorable code name?
How can I write about my experiences as a survivor when there is a chance that my Daddy might click on this link?
How can I write about that argument with my coworker when she could, theoretically stumble across this?
How much do I write about my daughter before I’m depriving her of her privacy?
It’s all become so complicated for me.
How do I write my story with no supporting cast of characters?
As a poet and a writer privacy has never really been a goal of mine. I share my heart, my mistakes, my fears, my nightmares. I do it as a way to process my life. I do it hoping that someone will see themselves in something I write and know that they are not alone. I write because it helps me be a better person when I contemplate my actions. I write because I need to.
I’m not sure how to move forward.
I’m hoping I can figure it out.
Welcome. I’m so glad to see you. Please make yourselves comfortable. Please excuse my appearance as I am just getting set up over here. I have a bunch of blogs floating around cyberspace but I haven’t committed to blogging in one place since MySpace. I miss blogging. I miss writing. I miss the comments. I miss reading other blogs. MySpace made it so easy. I built some of the most important friendships in my life through that site’s blogs. sighs Oh the good old days!
Lately I feel like words are oozing out of my brain and I desperately want to catch them. I haven’t really committed to writing on a regular basis for a long time. I’m hoping that WordPress will be the right place and my new home.
I don’t really anticipate any strangers reading this. LOL I’m kinda thinking it will be a diary for a while with just me and the tumbleweeds. So I’ll spend some time decorating and exploring my new blog home. Anyone who knows me knows that I am no techie so that might take a while. LOL
Honestly my writing has been put on a total back burner since I had Nia. I waited a long time to have a baby so the past 22 months have been all about being Mommy. I love my new role. I love my kid. She’s seriously the best thing that ever came out of me. Ba-dum-bump Giggles But now I’m struggling to find a balance between Mommy and Dana. I’m struggling to find a way to honor the things that feed my soul while Mommying. Logically I know this will make me a better Mommy, but I haven’t quite figured out how this works practically. I’m sure I will write a lot about that here.
I’m also a poet. I love writing. I love performing. I love collaborating with other poets. I love listening to and reading other poets. Poetry has saved my life numerous times and in numerous ways. I miss writing for hours. That NEVER happens with a toddler around.
I think I’m done babbling for today. 🙂