If I am ever taken in to police custody know that…
I will not kill myself.
I will not resist.
I will not reach for a weapon.
I will not fight.
I will comply.
I will fight in court
with all of the resources at my disposal.
I will have only one thought
during the course of the entire interaction
“Make it home to Nia”
And yes,
I WILL be
that docile Negro
that they want me to be.
I will yas suh and yas maam them to death.
My child is my life.
She is the future.
She is everything.
And I will choke on the shame of being a good slave
just so I can make it home to her.
Never let THEM write my narrative.
I am a MOTHER.
Nothing else matters.
Pride can take a flying leap.
I want to survive.
I will make myself small
and quiet.
I will choke on my rage.
I will comply.
And even having made this declaration
publicly
I know these actions can’t save me.
They can hashtag me
with impunity
some desk duty
paid vacation
for my blood on their hands.
There are no safe quarters for me
OR
my progeny.
If I am ever taken in to police custody
RAGE for me.
Don’t believe
the, “official story.”
My only thought
I promise you
was making it home
to my baby.